"Every man is where he is by the law of his being. The thoughts which he has built into his character have brought him there, and in the arrangement of his life there is no element of chance, but all is the result of a law which cannot err. This is just as true of those who feel "out of harmony" with their surroundings as of those who are contented with them."
~James Allen, As A Man Thinketh

In his timeless book As A Man Thinketh, James Allen teaches a powerful principle: that your circumstances—whether favorable or frustrating—are not accidental. They are the direct result of your own thoughts. Surprising? Maybe even a little shocking. But it’s actually wonderful news. What Allen suggests is that you have far more influence over your future than you may have ever realized.

As we begin to understand and live according to the laws that govern life, we start to see how present God's hand really is in everything. God is a God of order, and this is an orderly universe. Things that once seemed random or unpredictable begin to make more sense. As we align ourselves with those laws, we can expect dramatic forward movement—greater peace, prosperity, and purpose.

Now, a quick update: the series formerly known as "Getting Personal" has a new name—"The Young and the Thoughtless"! If you missed the first post, you can catch up here. While my husband and I hope we still qualify as “young,” we certainly hope we’re not “thoughtless” anymore—especially after all the hard lessons we’ve picked up along the way.

So here we are, at the next installment of our story…

But first, a brief recap:

"...I had finally conceded… but to my surprise, while attending these seminars, a speaker said something that actually saved my marriage. What was shared didn’t make us rich, but it rescued our relationship. Who would have expected such an outcome from a seminar about money?”
The Young and the Thoughtless | Episode 1 – Humble Beginnings

Let me set the stage for today’s story: Our relationship was already under pressure before the trip even began.

For starters, I was five months pregnant with our first child—cranky, uncomfortable, and exhausted. We were driving our old 1969 Volkswagen Beetle across the scorching Phoenix Valley in June… with the heater stuck on. We’d spent our only savings just to make the trip, and I was trying not to be upset about that (and failing). I was also still dealing with residual anxiety after a terrifying experience the year before, when Trevan had fallen asleep at the wheel. And to top it all off, our hotel accommodations—despite the money we’d spent—were not what I had hoped for. Needless to say, I was not impressed.

Trevan, on the other hand, was getting increasingly frustrated with my negativity—especially every time I reached for the seatbelt in alarm at the slightest traffic event, which he took personally.

By the time we made it to the seminar, our attitudes didn’t magically improve. If anything, they got worse. We were critical of everything—the speakers, the music, the venue, the message. We were tense, skeptical, and downright judgmental. After all, we weren’t there to be swept away by wealth and materialism. We just wanted enough money for me to stay home with the baby and to get out of debt. We weren’t chasing luxury… although, in all honesty, a nicer (and safer) car would have made a difference on that trip.

So what about the speaker who “saved our marriage”?

Ironically, he wasn’t a financial expert at all—he was a comedian. His name was Andy Andrews, and he had been brought in to lighten the mood. He did his job brilliantly. A talented entertainer with a resume that includes performing at the White House, Andy brought laughter where we had only felt stress. And while I barely remember anything else from the entire three-day seminar, I’ll never forget one little joke he made.

I’m no comedian and can’t deliver it the way he did, but essentially, he was teasing women’s supposed “faulty depth perception.” He acted out a scene in which a woman gasps dramatically in the passenger seat as a car merges hundreds of yards ahead. The driver panics, asks what’s wrong, and the woman, wide-eyed and serious, says, “They cut right in front of us! We almost crashed!”

It was a spot-on impersonation—of me. Just days before.

Something about that moment cracked me open. I couldn’t hold on to all the tension anymore. Trevan and I burst out laughing—truly laughing—for the first time in what felt like forever. My irritation and resentment spilled out in the best way possible: as pure, cathartic laughter. That one moment shifted everything. The anger, the strain, the gloom… it all gave way to humor and connection.

We drove home with lighter hearts and a renewed perspective. Our circumstances hadn’t changed—our income hadn’t magically increased—but our outlook had. And that made all the difference.

It was just the beginning.

To see how quickly we could forget these hard-won insights (don’t worry—we’re very consistent about that!), stay tuned for the next chapters of The Young and the Thoughtless. Have you experienced anything similar? Maybe you're in the middle of your own lesson right now. I’ve heard it said that life will keep presenting you with the same problem until you learn what it’s trying to teach you—and the good news is, it doesn’t have to last forever.

"As the progressive and evolving being, man is where he is that he may learn that he may grow; and as he learns the spiritual lesson which any circumstance contains for him, it passes away and gives place to other circumstances."
~James Allen, As A Man Thinketh

Stay tuned for the next episode—just use the navigation links below.

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