by Ann Ferguson

I was afraid to write for years.

It started my senior year of high school with one devastating experience: a research paper. From that moment, a belief took root—my writing isn’t acceptable or valuable. That belief quietly grew into a story I told myself over and over until it became reality.

In my freshman year of college, I actually tested out of English 101 and was placed directly into a composition class. That should have been evidence that I had what it takes. But instead of boosting my confidence, I clung tighter to the belief that I couldn’t write. When the words didn’t come easily and I struggled with assignments, I froze.

And then I fled.

I didn’t ask my professor for help. I was too ashamed. Instead, I slipped silently away and stopped going to class. I replayed the story of that high school paper again and again, until the day I received an “F” for the course. That grade became my proof, my confirmation that I was right about myself. And for the next twenty years, I used it to keep myself safe. Every time I considered going back to college, I reminded myself of the “F”—of the story—and talked myself out of trying.

Then, twenty years later, something unexpected happened.

After some painfully refining life events, I received a prompting to write a book. I was driving home from a seminar on forgiveness, feeling inspired and full of light, when the impression came. It hit hard and fast. Panic took over, and I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. Deep in my heart, I knew the prompting was real. I knew writing a book was part of my future. But I didn’t want to believe it.

Not me.
I'm not an author.

I reminded God again and again that I was the wrong person for this job. And He, honoring my agency, let me hold onto that belief for another thirteen years.

During those years, my life continued to unfold in big, challenging ways—children navigating the aftermath of divorce and remarriage, homelessness after a natural disaster, and a health crisis that threatened to silence my story for good. But along with the heartache came growth—exponential growth. My trust in God deepened. I learned that He knows me, loves me, and genuinely wants me to find joy. He gave me instruction, insight, and experiences. He inspired me to teach and to create. I learned. I healed. I changed.

And recently, the prompting to write a book returned.

But this time, my response was different. The doubt, fear, and inadequacy were still there—but not the panic. Now, I had evidence that God wants to walk with me as we co-create my life. I didn’t freeze or run. I trusted that I would be supported.

Yes, the “F” happened. But it’s no longer my story.

I am safe now. I can change the story—anytime I choose.

So I asked myself:
Am I brave enough?
Am I ready?
Am I willing to let God turn my perceived weakness into a strength?

My answer was yes.
And as soon as I said it, He started changing me.

He brought people into my life who believe in me and hold the vision of a book with my name on the cover. He placed an opportunity in my path—one I deeply want to accept. But the only way to qualify is to write nine articles.

That’s when something shifted.

My desire became stronger than my fear.

The truth? I still don’t want to write a book. But I do want to have written a book. And because of that, God is preparing me. I’ve even developed a few mind tricks to help me actually sit down, get it done, and keep the doubts at bay.

Here’s what has worked for me:

Step 1: Vision Board Magic

I put a picture on my vision board of a woman signing a book at her first signing event. She’s holding a leopard pen. A friend later sent me a real leopard pen—just like the one in the photo. I use it to connect to the vision. Sometimes, I hold it, close my eyes, and imagine someone handing me my book to sign. It keeps the dream alive and pulls the path toward me.

Step 2: Speaking Life into My Writing

I created declarations and placed them in front of my computer. I read them every day. They’re familiar now—so familiar they no longer trigger imposter syndrome. These declarations are helping rewrite my internal story:

• "I love to write. I make time daily to get down on paper the thoughts and feelings of my mind and heart."

• "I easily find time to write. I enjoy every moment in this creative activity."

• "I am a gifted and inspired writer. Words flow easily through me and onto the page."

• "My writing helps people find their personal connection to Christ and, therefore, a joyful connection to themselves and others."

Step 3: Invite the Divine

When I had cancer, I listened daily to an album of piano hymns. I would close my eyes and envision holding my granddaughter’s hand as we walked along the beach. Now, that same music brings peace and focus as I write. It blocks out distractions and helps me enter a flow state where words come naturally.

Step 4: Permission to Be Messy

I’ve dropped the perfectionism. My first drafts don’t have to be polished—they just have to exist. I get the words out, then come back to shape and refine. Letting go of the need to be perfect has been a game-changer.

Step 5: Editing Tools

I use a powerful grammar checker. It helps me catch mistakes, clean up confusion, and feel confident that what I’m producing is readable and professional.

Step 6: Accountability

I tell someone when I plan to write. Sometimes I open a Zoom room for others to join me. Even if no one shows up, the act of inviting others tricks my brain into believing someone is counting on me—which keeps me showing up.

Step 7: Share the Work

Once a piece feels ready, I share it with someone I trust. Their feedback reassures me that my message makes sense—and even more, that it matters. Hearing how my words affect others has been one of the most beautiful parts of this process.

Step 8: Snack Support

Yes, snacks matter. Long writing sessions require fuel. Lately, it’s pistachios. They keep me alert and engaged. Highly recommend.

Step 9: Follow the Flow

I write as long as the inspiration flows. When it stops, I stop. If I try to force it, those old feelings of fear and inadequacy creep back in. Instead, I honor the creative cycle. When I write with inspiration, I feel energized and fulfilled—and my work is stronger for it.

Using these steps has made it possible for me to move closer to becoming a published author with a powerful, impactful, fun, and loved book. They have also made it possible for me to finish my writing requirement and seize the opportunity that has been presented to me. 

And this?
This is article number nine.

I am finished.
And I have a new story:

I am an author. And I love to write.

_________________

•   To discover how to start choosing more effectively now, read The Jackrabbit Factor (FREE!)  
•   If you want more step-by-step guidance on creating the life you really want, join me in the Mindset Mastery program.
•   If you want my help overcoming that giant obstacle right in front of you, learn more and sign up for Genius Bootcamp.