By Heather Backman

I was in beautiful, heavenly Hawaii when I experienced one of the most dramatic energy shifts of my life. I was on a girls’ trip—me, my mom, my sisters, and my niece—there to relax, have fun, deepen our bond, and celebrate my sister’s 50th birthday.

But going into it, I felt uneasy. Past experiences had left me anxious. Around them, I often felt misunderstood, unseen, unheard, unimportant—completely alone in who I am and how I move through life. I’ve always felt different from them, and those feelings were creeping in fast.

As the first couple of days passed, the weight of those old wounds grew heavier. I felt buried under thoughts of being undervalued and misunderstood. It got to the point where I couldn’t speak. I cried in bed at night. During car rides, I’d go quiet, plug in my headphones, and mentally pull away—just trying to feel some sliver of worth. It helped… a little. But deep down, I wanted to break down, cry, and finally say everything I’d held in about how they made me feel.

But I didn’t want to ruin the trip. I didn’t want drama. I knew I had a choice to make—but I needed help to get out of my own head. I needed someone to speak truth to me. A shift in perspective. A lifeline.

Thankfully, I have friends who know how to spot distorted thinking and replace it with truth. So the next morning, I reached out and told them exactly what I was experiencing. Their response changed everything. They said:

“Heather, you can choose to tell them how you feel, or you can choose to not say anything and cast those negative distortions out and believe in the truth of who you are.”

And that was my aha moment. I had a choice. I could choose to sit in pain and victimhood for the rest of the trip—or I could reach within, remember who I am, and let go of the need to be seen and heard by them in order to feel loved and whole.

I realized: I AM loved. I AM seen. I AM heard. I AM valued. Whether they see it or not doesn’t change the truth. I know who I am.

Right then, I made the choice to shift. Fully. Instantly. I changed my energy in one bold decision. I let go of the pain, the misunderstanding, the longing to be seen, and I stepped into belief—belief that I am loved, cared for, and enough exactly as I am.

And the freedom that followed was powerful. My heart felt lighter. I remember thinking, “Why on earth would I choose to stay in distorted thinking when I can live in the truth of who I am?”

That moment set me free. I started to enjoy the trip. I spoke up more. I laughed more. I shared more. I showed up as me. And it all came from choosing to believe in my own value. It was one of the most powerful emotional and energetic shifts I’d ever experienced.

When we make a choice, we cause things to happen. The outcome flows from what we choose. If I had chosen to stay in pain and victimhood, that trip would’ve ended very differently. But I’m so grateful I didn’t.

Because when we make choices that align with who we want to become—life starts to reflect that right back to us.

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