By Alisa Hancock

As we begin applying new principles in our lives, we quickly notice a pattern: sometimes everything flows effortlessly, and we feel aligned with life and purpose. Other times, it feels like we’re swimming upstream—pushing hard and getting nowhere. Over time, I’ve discovered that the difference often comes down to one thing: my motives and intentions.

When Ego is the Motive

Ego pulls us further away from our truest goals and highest ideals. When I’m operating from ego—whether consciously or not—I notice that everything feels harder. Progress is frustrating, results feel forced, and I end up emotionally drained.

There are some key indicators that ego is running the show. They usually include a sense of need:

• We’re in competition mode—we need others to lose so we can win.

• We need more than others in order to feel happy.

• We need others to see us a certain way.

• We need to be right, which means someone else must be wrong.

• We need to impress.

• We need to prove something to others—or even to ourselves.

• We crave control, attention, or power.

• We need to be seen as special or different.

• We need an enemy or opposition to fight against, not realizing we often become what we oppose.

• We feel superior to others because of what we have or have achieved.

• Or, we feel inferior to others and believe the world owes us something in return.

• We see ourselves as victims: “poor me.”

When ego is our motive, doubt, fear, and worry follow close behind. If you start to feel those emotions creeping in, it’s a signal to pause and check your intentions.

When Love is the Motive

The Bible teaches us, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear...” (1 John 4:18). Whenever ego creeps in, love is the antidote. Ego and love cannot coexist.

When love drives our motives, we feel a sense of flow—like we’re aligned with something greater than ourselves. We feel connected to God. We feel peace. We stop striving and start serving.

Here are some ways you can tell when love is leading:

• You feel connected to God and trust that with Him, all things are possible.

• You want to be an instrument in His hands to bless others.

• You feel gratitude—for your blessings, your teachers, your knowledge, and your journey.

• You see the divine greatness in yourself and in everyone you meet.

• You genuinely care about people.

• You feel peace and serenity, and the opinions of others lose their grip on you.

• You build authentic, meaningful relationships.

When love is your motive, your talents and gifts flow freely—not because you’re trying to prove your worth, but because you already know it. You don’t worry about whether your gifts are superior or inferior. You use them simply because they were given to you by God to uplift, serve, and love others.

Love vs. Ego in Everyday Life

Ego can be sneaky. As a parent, I’ve had to carefully examine my motives. There have been times when I’ve believed I was teaching values or helping my kids make good choices out of love—but in reality, I was hoping their behavior would reflect well on me. I needed to check: am I guiding them for their highest good, or so I’ll be seen as a “good parent”?

It’s worth asking: Are we helping others because we truly care about them? Or because we want to be seen as someone who cares?

The truth is, you already are the person you need to be to make a difference. You don’t need to become someone else. You just need to remember who you are—and believe it.

When you act from that place of truth, you’ll take inspired action—rooted in love, faith, and gratitude.

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