Throughout the week, I reflected back on the impression I had received on Day 5. I knew God had heard my prayers, I felt assured that the situation I prayed about had been healed, and that therefore, it would only be a matter of time before we would see the effects of that healing.

To remember the promise, I repeated in my mind:

[This] was healed in Norway.

To me, the promise was just another example of a recurring biblical theme, where God speaks in the past tense about future events. Examples like these below strengthen my faith in the sacred, personal promise I received on Day 5.

1. Eve — “Mother of All Living” Genesis 3:20 – “And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.” This was said before she had borne any children.

2. Gideon — Victory Declared Before the Battle in Judges – 6:14 – “Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites: have not I sent thee?” And in Judges 7:9 – “Arise, get thee down unto the host; for I have delivered it into thine hand.” The Lord spoke in the past tense about a victory that had not yet occurred.

3. Abraham — Father of Many Nations — Genesis 17:5 – “Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee.” Spoken before Isaac was even conceived.

4. Joshua — Jericho’s Defeat — Joshua 6:2 – “See, I have given into thine hand Jericho, and the king thereof, and the mighty men of valour.” God declared Jericho already delivered before Israel had even started marching around the city.

(I am told this is a writing style called the “prophetic perfect,” which can even be a very powerful, godly way to write our own inspired goal statements like we do in Mindset Mastery.)

When God declares something done but it hasn't actually happened yet, what part do we play in helping it come about?

What's my part?

Well, I felt like maybe my part in this situation would be to prepare my heart and mind to know when to share my thoughts about it effectively with those involved. Before coming to Norway, my mind had been flooded with 'wisdom' and parental advice, which I planned to impart at the right time to help the situation they were battling. So I gathered my thoughts into notes, and prayed for inspiration and guidance on exactly how and when to share them. 

With only one day left on the trek, I had this one last opportunity to take advantage of quiet, scenic, coastal roads to clear my mind and return home, ready to lovingly deliver all of the life-changing perspective I had to offer. In preparation for this final journey, I completed my trek guide for the day:

Day 8

I. What fire will I carry into this day? Calmness.

II. What truth will kindle within me, no matter the wind or weather? Jairus’ faith was sufficient to heal his daughter, even while she wasn't a conscious participant.

III. What shadows may rise to test me? Darkness, fatigue

IV. What vow do I make to this road? I will remember you are God’s creation, too. Reverence.

V. What sign shall remind me I am the flame? Pebbles.

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Ramberg to Moskenes

Point B (below) is where we were supposed to start the day. But point A was where we actually started, since that had been the closest lodging we could find the night before. It would be an extra long day today.

We were on our way by 5:30 am. Don't be too impressed; the sun never went down, so 'time' was just numbers on a clock. I had easily crashed early the night before, so it wasn't hard to get up at 5.

Normally, we'd wake up and meet the sag vehicle to load up our gear, but we were so far away from the group, and we left so early that we had to leave our bags outside the Lofoten Basecamp office and pray that Papa Smurf (our driver's nickname) would find them there a few hours later.

We headed out and up a hill, and then through a tunnel. It's a good thing we left when we did, because we later heard how treacherous it had been for the other riders who went through it the day before when traffic was heavy.

Gorgeous, quiet morning roads:

Monica's lodging was a good 10 miles away from ours, so she spent the last day riding with Gaylene. Despite my protesting (because of how long it would take him), Trevan insisted that he wanted to ride the last day with me. As long as he wouldn't mind my speed, I was excited to share the final day together!

It took us a couple hours, but we finally rolled in to point B, Ramberg. I think the group decided not to try to congregate, so we continued on.

One of our teammates was on the road ready to go as we passed, so we spent some time riding together. 

Norwegian graffiti — all about fish, of course: 

Cool retaining wall:

Avoiding regrets

To explain what this final day of trek meant to me, I need to back up and mention something that happened in the months leading up to it.

My children are all adults now, and a few have started having difficult conversations with me about things we did as parents that hurt them deeply. It's been a gut-wrenching wake up call that has been difficult to process. Some have shared how alone they felt growing up when I was too stressed or busy to be present. I was in survival mode for so many of those years myself, but did my level best to make the most of the impossible situations we found ourselves in. At the time, I genuinely believed that if I did my best and things went poorly anyway, at least I wouldn't have any regrets.

Sadly, I've learned that regret comes heaviest when you think you did things right, but find out much too late how wrong it actually was. I brought my anguish to the trek, hoping that the time to think would help me find comfort, hope, acceptance for what can't be undone, and answers to what I can I do going forward.

Cycling coaching

This would be our last day of the trek, and I was eager to complete it. Surely, I had one more day in me, right? I approached the road with determination, but eager to have it over.

Out of love, Trevan began sharing his wisdom with me as we rode. He is an avid adventure cyclist having previously covered thousands of miles around the United States, India, Hungary, France, Austria, Czechia, and Morocco. He has learned a lot over the years about safety, conditioning, strength, endurance, and the mindset it takes to truly enjoy the challenge. I'm definitely a novice, and understand he was just concerned about my safety and success.

“Do you know to watch for sand in the road?”

(Yeah...)

"You might want to eat something. Gotta eat it before you need it."

(Ok.)

But the unsolicited advice was starting to bother me, and brought back the annoyance I had felt before when the other rider told me I could do better, if I just pushed myself more.

Being on this trek and receiving input from other riders who had wisdom for me wasn't just annoying, it was defeating. I started missing Monica, and how she had been as a riding partner. Here I was, already at my capacity, doing what I could do to survive the day, and maybe it was my pride, but I just didn't have any room or tolerance for advice.

It's like telling someone who's drowning that they should watch out for the waves or try swimming harder. 

I finally stopped the bike and said, "I've been doing this without you for seven days, and you want to give me advice now?"

At first, he just agreed to stay quiet—didn’t push back. He went along with my request to keep his advice to himself.

At the top of the next hill we pulled off to have some snacks, where he opened up about how confused he was and how he felt like he had no idea how to help me. 

To share what he was going through, he said, “I have some experience you might benefit from and thought you’d appreciate me sharing. You’re telling me you don’t want to hear what I have so say and that leaves me feeling like I can’t add any value. What am I here for? How can I help you?”

I searched to understand why I was so bothered. 

"How about companionship? Maybe we could talk about something other than cycling, to help me get my mind off of it? Can we just enjoy the day together, without talking about how to ride it better?" (No lessons, please. Just scenery and companionship.) If we start there, I thought, maybe I'll get to a place where I'll appreciate some advice ... later. 

That's when it hit me.

My adult children's faces popped into my mind, and I could hear them each saying, "I've been doing life without you all these years, and you want to give me advice now??"

[Exhales] 😮‍💨 The truth bomb came through loud and clear.

"Ok Lord, I got it." I felt it in my core. They don’t need my advice. They simply need quiet, confident companionship. They are adults now, and have their own GPS within themselves, their own connection to the Spirit of God who guides them when they are willing to hear it.

So, what would be more helpful than anything would be reminders that encourage and inspire, like how well they ARE doing, and how glorious the victory will be when they conquer their challenges. Those are the only kinds of words I wanted to hear, to keep me going on this cycling trek in Norway.

Life itself is like a trek, and can feel just as hard, if not harder. 

As for all the 'wisdom' notes I had been gathering... the old me would not have been able to rest until I had created an opportunity to dispense them. But after this visceral awakening, I was immediately able to release any need I felt to get my points across.

Up until then, I had felt a compelling, moral duty to teach. But afterwards, I was instead filled with an irresistible desire to just love.

If I can hold on to that feeling, then, should I ever be given the opportunity to teach something important, it will come from a much better place, and with greater wisdom on how much, how quickly, and when.

What adult children need

In many ways, adult children these days, by and large, are drowning, and need more cheerleading and less counsel. As it was with Trevan and his cycling expertise, parents DO have hard-earned, valuable experience and wisdom to share... but it's best received once sought, and it will only be sought if the child feels safe enough to open up, without always getting advice or a lecture.

To achieve this, the parent has to do a whole lot more listening than talking.

I have not been good at that, but I do have a clearer vision now for what what MY part really is going forward, and why. There is a principle, and I believe it to be a true principle, that given the opportunity to talk things out, our children will come to their OWN wise conclusions about any given dilemma. They may make some mistakes before they get to it, but don't we all?

I need to remember to let our adult children lead their own lives and learn whatever lessons they need to learn, their own way. The more we respect that and celebrate every win or every bit of growth no matter how big or small, then maybe one day they will feel more inclined to ask for input. 

But whether or not they ever do, we can always continue praying for them, while we work on ourselves. 

With this epiphany properly logged in my notes, Trevan and I sat on a boulder overlooking the sea to talk things through, have some lunch, and repair our little breakdown.

Soon we were on our way again.

Only 4 miles to go!

6 hours after leaving Lofoten Basecamp, we arrived at Reine at 11:30 am:

A few of our men soaking in the view:

Our final destination for the whole trek was only 4 more miles farther up the road! Everyone went into town for lunch but I sat on the lookout to think. I was just so tired, I couldn't imagine going down for lunch only to have to turn around and get myself back up the hill again.

Thanks guys, for the invitation! ... 😁 I think I'll just hang out here. 👍

One final blow

It was here at the lookout over Reine that I learned that, even though we were only 4 miles from the end of our entire 330+ mile trek, our reserved lodging was actually 5 miles beyond that. So we weren't even actually going to be done today, with those 5 additional miles we'd have to ride back the next morning, to get to the ferry before 7am.

😞

I cried. 

I wasn't the only one regretting our lodging choices. After we arrived in Moskenes we congregated near the dock and at first hoped to find alternative lodging closer to the ferry. Ultimately, 13 out of 15 of us decided to just forfeit our local reservations and get on the next boat to Bodø as soon as we could. Trevan called our Bodø hotel and made arrangements for us to come a day early, and then we relaxed on the 3+ hour passage to the mainland, all super relieved to be done.

After getting settled at our hotel, we had dinner downstairs with the Garretts. Oh, how happy we were to have finished the trek!!

And there's our fearless leader, Layne, helping us pack up all the bikes for our various flights home:

My takeaways from Day 8: 

Faith in God’s Past-Tense Promises

I choose to hold onto the personal, sacred promise I received on Day 5, trusting that the visible results will come in time. I will remember the biblical pattern called the “prophetic perfect,” where God declares something as already accomplished before it has happened, and use it as a reminder to apply the same principle to my own faith-based goal statements.

From Advice-Giving to Companionship

While cycling with Trevan on the final day, his well-intentioned coaching felt overwhelming because I was already at my physical limit. I wanted companionship, encouragement, and shared presence and this became a metaphor for my relationship with my adult children: they don’t need unsolicited advice; they need an affirming presence, listening, and loving support.

My earlier approach was survival-mode parenting, but unsolicited advice, even when born of love, can feel like judgment or interference.

So, my new goal is to:

• Listen more than I speak.
• Encourage and celebrate wins.
• Let my kids lead their own lives and come to me if/when they want guidance.
• Continue praying for them while working on my own growth.

_____________

What a day.

My prayer for all parents everywhere is that our children will continue to give us many opportunities to practice and learn from our mistakes, until this better way of being becomes our second nature. ♥️

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Did you know?

After I came home from my trek, Layne continued on to Nordkapp (top of the world) with 7 more cyclists, who are now coming together on a Zoom meeting to share about their experiences!

Everyone gets something different out of Layne's treks, so if you want to hear what it was like for them, join us all for a FREE Weekly Forum Special Event (OPEN to the Public!) Thursday, August 14 at 7pm MT. Click here to get the Zoom link.

Learn more about Layne's cycling treks and discover what the experience might hold for you. Click here and tell Layne I sent you!

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