Parenting Transformation Journey – Page 13
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Since my last update, I did fall back into some old habits.

My husband was busy working on a few things when I discovered our business support ticket system hadn’t been functioning properly—for who knows how long. Basically, when a customer needs help, they submit a ticket, and we typically respond within 1–2 business days. The system is supposed to automatically notify the customer once we've replied.

Turns out, while we had been responding internally, the customers weren’t being notified. The system worked fine when it was first set up, but now it looked like we hadn’t been replying at all. That discovery hit hard.

I saw it as a pretty urgent issue. Suddenly, I was facing the task of figuring out how long this had been broken, and how many people were still waiting for a response. My stress level shot up. I tried to stay calm while bringing it up with my super-techie husband (who installed the system), hoping he’d drop everything to fix it right then and there.

He didn’t. He was already deep into something else and, understandably, a bit irritated that I hadn’t first suggested we find a time—maybe in 15 minutes or an hour—for him to look into it.

So here was the test: could I practice “calm”?

I didn’t yell or explode, but let’s be honest—my tone, face, and body language were far from peaceful. Eye rolls, clenched teeth, and deep, irritated sighs may be quiet expressions of frustration, but they don’t count as staying calm.

He did end up dropping everything to fix the issue, though he wasn’t thrilled about it. It took a few hours before we were both cool enough to talk it through and figure out what we could have done better. I could have respected his timing, or he could have offered a later time more calmly. Either way, it was one of those “mirror moments” for me—the thing I’m working so hard to teach my kids (how to stay calm when they’re frustrated) is the very thing I still need to master myself.

Looks like we’re all on the same journey.

Later that day, my husband and I went on our weekly date. This time, we visited the Mesa LDS Temple where we were married 22 years ago. Being there always grounds us and reminds us what really matters.

When we got home, it was pretty late—and that’s when I realized I was way behind in helping my son with his Duty to God program. We were up against the deadline, so he and I stayed up until 1:00 a.m. finishing it together. At one point, I actually fell asleep on the couch, watching the lava lamp across the room. I’d wake up each time he had a question.

(Here’s an idea… Need someone to calm down? Just have them watch a lava lamp for five minutes!)

I’m not sure how coherent my answers were in those last 20 minutes, but eventually he exclaimed that he was finished. He was so excited. He gushed with gratitude and gave me the strongest, most heartfelt hug. He almost gave me another one but caught himself, realizing two in a row might be a little awkward. (Though I wouldn’t have minded :) )

I still had a lesson to prepare for the 14–15-year-old girls I teach at church, but I was too tired to pull it together. So I decided to wake up early and finish it in the morning.

To stay focused on the positive, I’m wrapping up this post with some victories from the week:

• My 13-year-old finished his Eagle Scout Proposal and got all the required signatures.

• My 11-year-old completed both his 1st and 2nd Class scout requirements and passed his board of review for both.

• I prepared and posted checklists for my kids’ school objectives this year inside our schooling cabinet.

• That same 13-year-old showed new enthusiasm for physics and algebra—because he needed to understand them better for a computer game he’s building. He now spends his free time learning formulas… because he wants to. (I’ve been told this can happen with homeschooling—I saw it in my oldest with history and political science. It’s just so fun to see it happening again, in a totally different subject, with a different child.)

• My youngest’s reading became noticeably stronger and more fluent.

• My 18-year-old independently set some meaningful goals to complete before heading off to college.

All in all, I think it’s been a great week. And honestly, I’m proudest of myself just for documenting it. Whether there’s progress or not, I know our family will someday look back on this and smile—it’s a snapshot in time from life in the Householder home.

If you disagree with anything I’m doing, I ask that before leaving a comment, please watch this BBC episode so you can see the full picture. They say that during a life-saving surgery, the room can look like a crime scene. It might get messy in the middle, but I truly believe in the end result. None of these posts tells the full story on their own… but the episode does. Enjoy!

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