From the moment we begin this adventure called life, we absorb a vast array of information. One of the very first pieces of information we take in is the comforting presence of the mother who gave birth to us. In that initial moment, any fear or anxiety a newborn might feel is quickly soothed by the nurturing arms of a loving mother.

Right away, we learn who our nurturer is. As we grow, we continue to absorb all kinds of stimuli—some positive, some negative. Over time, this information settles deep within us, forming personalized core beliefs—subconscious beliefs that shape how we see ourselves and the world.

One such belief I carried for years was wrapped up in the simple phrase: "I don't know." Raised in a loving home, I still somehow internalized this phrase not just as an answer to a question but as a full stop to any new idea or thought that crossed my mind.

At the time, I dismissed it as nothing more than a filler word—like “um.” But it caused trouble, especially with my wife. When we brainstormed about raising our children, developing new projects, or growing our business, I’d often throw out an idea and then quietly tack on, “I don’t know.” She would catch it every time and say, “You do know! Don’t say you don’t.” I’d shrug it off, insisting it was just a harmless phrase, not a real belief.

But I was wrong.

Through learning about the subconscious mind, I’ve realized how destructive that simple phrase really was. Each time I thought or spoke “I don’t know,” I reinforced a core belief that I truly didn’t know. And what was the damage from that?

Every time I said it, I undercut my own ideas and gave myself permission to quit—or worse, to never fully try—because “I really didn’t know” what I was doing. It became an easy escape hatch, allowing my mind to stop searching for solutions, to avoid growth and possibility.

Once I removed that phrase from my vocabulary, I opened the door to my existing abilities, to possibilities and solutions, and to deeper insight. Now, when I catch myself about to think or say “I don’t know,” I consciously override it and shift my thinking to something more empowering.

Understanding how this phrase limited me in the past has also made me more aware of how I can intentionally empower positive change in my life—and it works for you too. Because I spoke “I don’t know” aloud, I solidified that belief in my subconscious. The good news? The opposite is true as well. If I want to change my core beliefs, I can create positive affirmations and repeat them consistently. This teaches my subconscious what I do want to believe.

For example:
“I am wealthy.”
“Money comes easily to me.”
“I am a patient parent.”

With enough time and repetition, these affirmations become new subconscious truths—and they begin to manifest in your reality.

Just as my setbacks were partly rooted in “I don’t know,” my greatest successes will grow from embracing its opposite: “I do know.”