When Problems Arise
Sep 10, 2010
By Katie Vrajich
By law, what we focus on most is exactly what we attract into our lives. If we don’t want to attract more of what we don’t like, then we’d better start choosing something better to focus on.
So how do we stay positive when something that looks negative is staring us in the face? The Law of Relativity is the perfect tool.
Let me tell you about Marshall.
Marshall chose to have his leg amputated. What he didn’t choose was to have his spleen removed, be intubated nine times, or have his entire abdominal cavity sliced open in a split-second effort to save his life. Marshall is my cousin. In his 17 short years, he’s seen more drugs, doctors, and pain than I hope to encounter in my entire lifetime.
He was born with a defect that affected his leg and groin/buttock area. The pain had gotten so bad that he was living on Vicodin, so he made the brave decision to amputate. Everyone knew it would be complicated because of the nature of his leg—but no one imagined this complicated. In just over two months, he’s been outside for barely an hour, thanks to nine surgeries and long ICU stays.
Now, let me be clear—I hate hospitals. I’m grateful they save lives, but I avoid them whenever possible. I even had a midwife-attended home birth just to steer clear of one. I switched my college major from nursing to something else, just to avoid spending time there during school and after. For me, being stuck in a hospital would be a nightmare.
But there’s Marshall.
Nurses and doctors from all over the Mayo Clinic come just to meet “The Famous Marshall”—the kid who says “please” and “thank you” even when his pain is at a level 9 or 10. The one who, right after they removed his breathing tube following his leg amputation, grinned at the doctors and said, “You guys are my heroes. Let’s go for a run.” The one who makes nurses like Josh want to come to work again after months of boredom that made them wish they could stay home.
This is Marshall. And honestly—that says enough.
From Facebook:
This is why I can’t complain.
A few days ago, I was at my wit’s end with my screaming 2-year-old. I was exhausted, ready to collapse. I picked up my mom, and we headed to the beach. I was still fuming, still frustrated. My thoughts sounded like a broken record: Why does he scream so much? When will it stop? When do I get a break? Why, why, why? When, when, when?
I pushed my double BOB stroller down the sand, wallowing in my irritation—until Marshall came to mind.
Marshall.
And just like that, my perspective shifted. Suddenly, I could see the deep green ocean. I could feel the sand under my feet. I could smell the salt in the air. I could feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. I could hear the rhythmic crash of the waves. I wanted to run.
I got my sweet, noisy 2-year-old out of the jogger, and we ran—back and forth in the waves, splashing, screeching, laughing. In that moment, I felt free. I felt joy. I felt alive.
That’s the Law of Relativity in action. Nothing is inherently good or bad—it’s all relative to something else. My screaming toddler might have felt like a nightmare compared to a peaceful beach day with a book, but it was pure bliss compared to Marshall’s situation.
The whole point of the Law of Relativity is to help us find gratitude and peace—right where we are—even in situations that feel heavy. We can choose to focus on the good, and more good will come. The Law of Relativity helps us find that good without changing a single thing in our circumstances—only our thoughts.
To Success!
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