By Alisa Hancock

The Law of Cause and Effect says that every cause has an effect, and every effect has a cause. Nothing happens by chance. Whatever you send into the Universe will come back to you.

Treat others with kindness and respect, and you’ll see more kindness and respect coming your way. Stop worrying about what you’re going to get—focus instead on what you can give. When you plant the cause (treating others with kindness and respect), the effect will naturally follow (others treating you the same way).

Need more kindness in your life? Plant seeds of kindness everywhere you go, and it will flow back to you.
Need more time? Give your time freely—serve, volunteer—and more time will find its way back to you.
Need more money? Tithe from what you have and give to those less fortunate, and watch money flow back to you.
Need better relationships? Become a better friend, a better partner.

Years ago, I made a list of every quality I wanted in my future husband—sixty-seven in total. I marked the essential ones with an “E” and the others (my wants) with a “W.”

Then I did something I’ve never heard the “experts” talk about—and I believe it’s why the process worked for me when it doesn’t for others. I looked at my list and said, “Now I need to become this person.” And I got to work becoming the kind of person I had described.

When I met my husband, I knew on our very first date that I could marry him. I was 26, a skeptic, and definitely not a believer in “love at first sight.” But I came home from that date with absolute certainty. Looking back, I realize I was already in vibration with the person I’d described, and so I recognized him instantly. I lost the list long before we met, but he has every quality I remember—including the wants as well as the essentials.

In As a Man Thinketh, James Allen said: “Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.”

There’s a big difference between wanting a million dollars and becoming a millionaire. Wanting is just idle dreaming; becoming requires inspired, consistent action toward a goal or vision (and yes, that means defining the goal or vision in the first place). In the same way, wanting a great partner is not the same as defining what a great partner is—and then becoming one yourself.

Once you’ve defined your goal, what you do next is what matters most.

Because you reap what you sow, make sure you’re planting good seeds—seeds rooted in value and service, not ego. If you plant seeds of wanting—wanting more than someone else, wanting something in return—you’ll live in a constant state of lack. But if you plant seeds of value, generosity, and service, value will always flow back to you.

Live your life on purpose.