By Jill MacDonald

Many years ago, I read Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. In it, he talks about how everything contains an equal or greater benefit within it. That idea both puzzled me and fascinated me.

You see, I’d been through some very hard things in my life—things that, when I looked back on them through Napoleon’s lens, I just could not find the “equal or greater benefit.” One situation in particular stood out. It happened when I was a little girl, and it caused me years of heartache and pain. It shaped how I related to people. It followed me into every relationship I had from that point on.

I went to therapy for years, trying to make sense of it. Still, the question nagged me: How could this possibly contain an equal or greater benefit? How could I be better for it? I had no answer. I was stumped.

Over time, I began to learn just how powerful our thoughts are—and that nothing is inherently good or bad. It just is. It’s what we think about a situation that shapes our experience.

One day, as I was talking to my therapist about my feelings, he said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“Jill, others have been through the same thing you have, but have felt very differently about it.”

He reassured me that my feelings weren’t wrong—they were just different. That stuck with me. I kept turning it over in my mind: How could someone see that situation differently? How could they not see it as anything but bad? How could it not affect them the way it affected me?

I was puzzled. But also… curious. Could there be a way to think about it differently? Could it be possible to not have it damage my relationships? My counselor assured me that others had experienced the same thing with a completely different response. That was proof enough for me—if they could, maybe I could too.

So I sat with that possibility. I didn’t demand an answer right away. I let it be. I told myself it was okay not to know just yet.

Those thoughts stayed with me long after I stopped seeing my therapist. For over a year, they swirled quietly in the back of my mind. Then, one morning, I realized something. I wasn’t the same person I had been a year before. My relationships were stronger. I felt lighter. I saw the past differently.

What had happened? Was there some big, life-altering event that had changed me overnight?

No. Absolutely not.

It was small things—tiny steps, day after day. A book I read. A conversation that shifted my perspective. A thought someone shared that made me see things in a new light. Each small moment built on the last until, without realizing it, I had changed.

And because I was looking for the change, I saw it. I finally understood what Napoleon Hill meant. The situation had been painful, yes—but it had shaped me. Because of it, I sought out a better life. Because of it, I worked toward becoming a better version of myself. And because I chose curiosity over bitterness, my focus shifted toward answers instead of blame.

Now, I get to help others discover the same truths within themselves. And that is a good life indeed.

So… was there an equal or greater benefit?
You bet there was. In fact, I’d say there was a much greater benefit. And for that, I am profoundly grateful.