By Kathleen Taylor

"Ten years from now we'll see the physical realization of many of the ideas we nourish today. What we see today is a sum total of the thoughts, feelings, and actions we've fostered in the past." (Leslie Householder, Mindset Mastery Lesson 12)

What!?
I asked for this?

Divorced, with 50/50 custody of my children?
Spending every other week… alone?

How is this the sum total of my thoughts, feelings, and actions?

Ten years ago, I had a four-month-old—baby number six.
The five before him came roughly two years apart.
He’s ten years and three days younger than my oldest daughter.

Life back then was a lot.
I was deep in the trenches of motherhood.
Every day felt like survival mode.

I battled postpartum depression.
Money was tight.
Marital intimacy was strained.
Everything was overwhelming.
Everyone needed me.
Everyone wanted to touch me.
Everyone was in my space.

My sister once said she sometimes speeds when she sees a police officer—hoping to get pulled over and sent to solitary confinement.

I felt that.

So yes, ten years ago, I had thoughts of being alone.
Plenty of them—supercharged with some very real emotion.

And because life is either forming or dissolving—growing or declining—I unknowingly set in motion the reality I’m living now.

My subconscious got the memo loud and clear.
She went straight to work, serving up some powerful experiences.

Some brought me closer to my family.
Some pulled me away.

Add in a dose of pride, loneliness, unforgiveness, and infidelity… and my marriage ended.
Our family split clean down the middle.
I was voted off the island.

Moments like that force deep soul-searching.
I saw—crystal clear—what I had been blind to for two decades.
I made mistakes. A lot of them.

But my story isn’t over.

Yes, I’m alone right now.
But for the last two years, I’ve been pouring my energy into a new set of emotionally charged thoughts.

I FEEL the loving relationship I’m in.
I SEE how we hold hands and support each other.
I HEAR the laughter, the kind words.
I TASTE the sweetness of life.
I SMELL the family dinners we enjoy together.

And now, I get to watch as people, resources, and experiences align for my benefit.

No fear.
No doubt.
Just Rare Faith—

—and the Law of Perpetual Transmutation doing its work, bringing life into form.