By Kathryn Barney

“When we remember to stop struggling, we rediscover we are floating. Trust the water, it will carry you.” – My Blue is Not Your Blue

I absolutely loved my time in the Mindset Mastery Guided course. Narrowing it down to just one “aha” moment has been tough—because I grew so much during those weeks.

One lesson that really stuck with me was Leslie’s explanation and example of surrendering. I’ve practiced surrender in different seasons of my life, for different reasons, but through this course, the concept became clearer and more powerful than ever before.

Like many people, I’ve often been forced into surrender by life circumstances. But there’s a big difference between being physically surrendered and spiritually or emotionally surrendered. That’s where the real power is.

Last year, my teenage son went through residential treatment and experienced miraculous change. But within a few months, he slipped back into old patterns and once again chose a dark path. Then, in January 2020, he disappeared for eight days. That was the lowest point in our journey with him.

When he finally came home, we tried to rebuild. We poured everything we had into helping him—but it just wasn’t getting through. With the help of his therapist, we came to a tough conclusion: he was determined to learn life the way he needed to learn it.

He had been fighting for years to be free and live like an adult. He was only 16, but it was clear—our efforts were only pushing him further away. It was time to let go. Time to surrender.

Letting go in this way was one of the most painful, difficult decisions I’ve ever made. I don’t talk about it often, because I still don’t have an easy way to explain to people why I chose to step back from actively parenting a minor. (Of course, I never stopped being his mom—but it felt like I was. I didn’t want others to see it as neglect or irresponsibility.)

I surrendered physically. But even more importantly, I turned to God to help me surrender emotionally and spiritually.

We gave him a few steps to complete if he wanted to live as an adult. He agreed, started trying, but ultimately said he couldn’t do it—not the rules, not the structure, not us. With an hour’s notice, he packed his things and moved out.

This happened just a couple of weeks after the pandemic began. He moved in with his girlfriend’s family—not true adulthood by any means—and the road hasn’t been easy. They’ve moved around, faced job changes, and endured emotionally and physically trying times.

But then… something shifted.

TWO DAYS after he left, he texted me to apologize for everything he had put me through. He thanked me for always being there and for loving him through it all. TWO DAYS. He hadn’t spoken to me like that in years. For so long, he had blamed me for everything—but within two days of my full surrender, he began to see the truth for himself.

It’s been six months since he left, and I can honestly say—his heart has changed. He calls or visits me every day. He brings me flowers and chocolate. He texts me out of the blue to say how much he loves me and how grateful he is.

He’s still making some hard choices that will impact him for years—but he’s my son again. And I believe it all started when I finally surrendered him to the Lord, and surrendered my heart to God’s will.

I had done everything I possibly could as a mother. And when there was nothing left, I gave it to heaven.

And that made all the difference.

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