My husband and I have been through some really (really) hard things over the years. But underneath it all, there’s always been this shared understanding: we’d figure it out, and somehow, we’d make it through.

That said, I can still remember moments when I seriously wondered if we would. Times when it felt like we’d hit the end of the road, and I truly couldn’t see how our marriage would survive.

But one thing I never let myself do was take action toward ending it. I assumed my thinking might be clouded in those moments, and I had no intention of making a permanent decision when I didn’t yet have a clear view.

By the Law of Rhythm, I knew that bad seasons are always followed by better ones… even if they take years to show up. So sometimes we just waited out the hard times. Sometimes we endured the mess until it faded. Other times, one of us shifted and saw things differently—either because we had changed, or because one of us finally recognized what we were doing wrong and made the effort to change.

My husband has always been quicker to adjust than I have. It’s one of his gifts—true “patience in action.” Though, I’ll be honest, sometimes it looked more like apathy or detachment to me in the moment.

Still, after every low valley came a beautiful, sweet reunion of the heart. A victory. A deeper commitment. A stronger bond. “For better or for worse,” they say… and I’ve learned that it really does get better after worse. Always. Eventually.

We’ve now got twenty-four years of evidence backing that truth. And every time we choose “together,” our confidence grows that we’ll make it through whatever’s coming next.

But I’ve also seen other marriages where the hard times never turn around. Where the issues are never addressed. Where the uncomfortable conversations are forever avoided. And while blowups are sidestepped, the problems just sit there… festering. No rhythm. No healing. Just… stuck.

Personally, I’d rather face a blowup now and then than spend my life walking on eggshells. Because often, by the time we finally gather the courage to speak up, the relationship has already taken one too many silent hits.

But every time we move forward—every time we choose to do our part and ride the ups and downs—we come out different. We come out better. As individuals and as a couple. That’s the sanctifying power of marriage. And honestly, that’s what marriage is for.

Anyone who thinks marriage is supposed to be effortless or constantly blissful has misunderstood the deeper purpose of it. The joy comes from choosing to keep covenants—with God, and with each other—especially when it’s hard. Especially in the dark.

Because there will be darkness. Sometimes deep, disorienting darkness. But like all seasons, it will pass. Even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment… it will.

Sometimes it’s not about fixing the boat. It’s just about riding out the storm.

I highly recommend the movie War Room. It’s such a powerful example of fighting the right battle—in the right place. Instead of going to war with your spouse, take it to the war room. Strategize in prayer. Let God fight for you.

When I’ve done that—when I’ve stepped back and prayed instead of pushing—I’ve seen miracles. I’ve watched 20-year issues heal in a day. I’ve seen hearts soften. I’ve felt the Lord’s hand in the tiniest details—bringing solutions and shifts I never saw coming. I believe these moments are the rewards of enduring patiently. Or at least, doing the best I can… and trusting His grace to make up the rest.

“I see that your faith is sufficient that I should heal you.”
– 3 Nephi 17:8

The healing… the shift… the peace… it’s all a gift. We don’t earn it. But we can qualify for it.

The covenants are meant to hold us together during those impossible seasons. Otherwise… what’s the point of a covenant?

Our sufficient faith.
His sufficient grace.
Whatever “sufficient” means to Him.

"And he said unto me, My  grace is sufficient for thee: for my  strength  is made perfect in  weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in  infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in  persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."
– 2 Corinthians 12:9–10

Now, yes—there are definitely situations where divorce is warranted. But I do believe those cases are rarer than our culture leads us to believe.

I also believe in the power of prayer.

God is not dead. He is not ignoring our pain. He cares about our families, and He has provided ways to escape the grip of the adversary—the father of lies, the author of all misery.

So if I had to sum this all up?

I’d say this:

A couple can get through anything if both people have a sincere desire to overcome and heal. Even if all that’s left between them is a few good memories, they can hang onto those—and hope for victory. Hope for a miracle. Because that’s what it often takes.

And yes, some problems really are too big to solve on our own.

But with God, nothing is impossible.

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