By Beckie Dragon

“Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” – James Allen

That quote really makes me stop and reflect.

When I think about who I was—not just what I wanted—I see now that I was someone with a poor self-image. I didn’t believe I was capable. Other people could succeed, but I couldn’t. I held myself back, convinced that I just had to accept things as they were. I believed I needed others to take care of me, because I couldn’t do it alone. I was constantly beating myself up, never feeling good enough.

To really paint a picture of “that which they are,” let me take you back to my college days.

My very first night on campus, I cried myself to sleep. I was scared, alone, and lacking all confidence. I somehow managed to get into classes, but it didn’t take long for discouragement to set in. The harder I tried, the harder it all felt. I was failing. I couldn’t see a way out. I slid into a spiral of guilt and shame—what I now believe are some of the lowest emotional vibrations we can experience. I honestly don’t know how I made it through that year, but I do know I didn’t go back.

Fast forward to sixteen years ago in July: I was praying for a way to supplement our income. Just one week later, I was on the phone with my brother who told me about a “sleep system” someone had let him try—and how much better he was sleeping because of it. I didn’t think much of it... until I hung up and heard that still, small voice—not my own—say:

“This is the answer to your prayer.”

That got my attention. I called him back, asked more questions, and soon I was sharing the idea with someone I trusted and respected.

His response?

“You’re not the right kind of person to do that.”

I was crushed. I cried myself to sleep that night, feeling like I had already failed... again. But thankfully, the next morning, another thought came:

“Wait a minute. He can’t decide that for me.”

Peace followed. I moved forward.

Later, my husband and I visited a mentor, and within one minute of talking to us, he said,

“Well, I can already tell you what your problem is. It’s your self-talk.”

He was absolutely right.

I had big goals—to build a successful business, lead a thriving team, help a lot of people, and eventually reach the top. But no matter how hard I worked, I kept running into the same invisible wall: my own thoughts. I didn’t truly believe success was possible for me.

But things started to change when I finally understood how those thoughts, feelings, and beliefs had been quietly shaping my reality.

I’m especially grateful for what I learned from Bob Proctor, as quoted by Leslie Householder:

“A feeling is nothing more than a conscious awareness of a particular vibration.”

That means I get to choose the vibration I want to be in. I may not be able to control every circumstance, but I can choose how I feel—and that’s powerful.

It turns out, gratitude is the fastest way to shift into a positive vibration. When I read The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles, it all started to click. He wrote:

“The more gratefully we fix our minds on the Supreme when good things come to us, the more good things we will receive, and the more rapidly they will come; and the reason simply is that the mental attitude of gratitude draws the mind into closer touch with the source from which the blessings come.”

It’s easy to be grateful when we have everything we want. The key, though, is to be grateful before things show up—to feel gratitude for where we are now, and for what we’re calling into our lives.

Another quote from Wattles that really struck me:

“Also, faith is born of gratitude. The grateful mind continually expects good things, and expectation becomes faith. The reaction of gratitude upon one’s own mind produces faith; and every outgoing wave of grateful thanksgiving increases faith.”

That insight helped me finally understand how to exercise faith—and why it’s not just about belief, but about cultivating expectation through gratitude.

Gratitude has helped me be more positive. And being positive helps me become more aligned with what I want to attract.

I am a work in progress. Every day, I pray for help to be more positive, to see myself the way God sees me, and to feel deep gratitude for both what I already have and what I’m still creating.

Because now I understand:
We don’t attract what we want.
We attract what we are.
And I’m learning to become someone who can receive it.

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