By Monica Zollinger

When I was twelve, I was called to be the class president for a group of girls in our church. We had an activity coming up, and I had poured a lot of time and energy into preparing it. I even made a big picture that included all the girls—I was so excited to share it.

But right before the activity, I was told the girls wanted to do something else instead. I was pretty upset. I felt like—since I was the one in charge—they should go along with what I had planned. I remember standing outside by our trampoline, holding the picture I’d made, feeling frustrated and hurt. And then a quiet, humbling thought came: “Is this about you, or is it really about them?”

We ended up doing the activity they wanted, and everyone had a great time.

That memory came back to me recently as I reflected on obstacles I’ve overcome. In that moment, the real obstacle wasn’t the change in plans—it was my ego. And the lesson was in letting go of it for the sake of better leadership. I don’t think we ever fully "overcome" things like that. We just keep learning, keep growing, and hopefully get better at stumbling forward.

Mark once told me about his experience climbing Mount Whitney. He said it felt more like a goal than an obstacle. That stuck with me. Reframing obstacles as stepping stones toward a meaningful goal helped me realize: we overcome as we go. In his case, that meant training, learning the trail, gathering gear—all part of the climb.

That early leadership moment helped shape the way I lead and serve. It taught me the power of putting others first. Since then, I’ve carried those lessons into some of my most meaningful experiences.

I started out volunteering in my son’s kindergarten class. I joined the PTA, eventually serving in several roles, even becoming Vice President for San Bernardino County, which gave me the opportunity to attend a national convention.

I worked in scouting—as a committee chair, a den leader, and a staff member for Woodbadge. I became the NYLT director, the director of Cub Day Camp, and later a Roundtable Commissioner.

In college, I had a job that involved researching through phone books and writing letters for my boss. When she started her own business, I became her office manager. Along the way, I even helped organize antique car shows.

I volunteered at the library, sorting books for the Friends of the Library—partly because I love books and wanted first pick! Later, I served as FOL President and helped organize movie events for local kids.

Every time I was recognized or received an award, I was reminded of the same truth: I wasn’t doing it for recognition. I was doing it for the kids. That lesson started when I was twelve—real leadership isn’t about being in charge. It’s about showing up, putting others first, and creating something meaningful together. It’s about encouraging others to use their strengths too, and watching how powerful it can be when a group of people comes together for a shared purpose.

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