An actual message to one of my teenagers who was complaining too much about his responsibilities:

You're doing so well in so many areas, and I’m genuinely proud of you. But it saddens me when you blame Dad simply because you don’t feel like doing your duties.

You’re old enough now to govern yourself. So, govern yourself—or you will be governed. If you were truly self-governing, you'd already have made your own plans to be where you're supposed to be—regardless of whether Dad was going or whether he was expecting you there.

Freedom isn’t about doing whatever you want.
It's about choosing—willfully—to do the things that keep you on track to qualify for every blessing Heaven wants to give you. Every right choice you make increases your freedom. Every poor choice diminishes it. And I’m not talking about consequences imposed at home—I’m talking about your agency, and how you use it each day in what you think and what you do.

You know we look for every possible reason to give you as much freedom as we (in good conscience) can. So when you feel more restricted than you’d like, I encourage you to pause and notice how good you actually have it. Choose gratitude instead of belligerence.

Your attitude—more than almost anything else—shapes the direction your life is headed. It reflects your trajectory, for better or worse. So please:

• Don’t grieve me.

• Don’t disrespect your dad.
  He asks so little and gives you so much. Either way, you’ll answer to God for how you honor him. And the truth is, you don’t have much time left at home with him.

Make this last year count. Let it be one that leaves you with no regrets.

I love you so much, and I do see how much you’ve matured. I was impressed by how hard you worked this morning, and I noticed that you could’ve made a much bigger stink—but didn’t. That matters.

Now, pay attention to how you feel when you're doing the right things. Then notice how much better it feels when you do them with a cheerful heart.

It's a choice.
And if you learn that lesson early, it will pay you great dividends for the rest of your life.

Good night. If you want to talk more about this, let’s do it after you’ve had a nap tomorrow.

And now that I’ve read this again, I realize... it sounds like something God might be saying to me, too.

A good reminder for all of us.

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