By Jill MacDonald

I look in the mirror and stare into my eyes

It’s so hard to focus, I look away in surprise

Why is it so hard to look myself in the eye?

Is it me that I deny? I really want to comply

There are things that are hiding, things I don’t want to see

I can look someone else in the eye, then why not me?

I try again, this time more determined than ever

I ignore the awkward gesture and say never say never!

What am I so afraid of? I wonder what I can do

I don’t want to be a prisoner inside this zoo

 I gaze into my eyes, my hopes and dreams flood my mind

Then pain and fear take over leaving me confined

These feelings it seems have been there all along

When I focus on them I don’t feel so strong

I can clearly see the power they’ve had over me

This is a problem that I must deal with fiercely

For if I am ever to be comfortable in my own skin

I know I must first deal with things from within

I look again into the mirror and stare into my eyes

And...I find a nice surprise!

I wrote this poem many years ago after a mentor gave me a powerful assignment:
Look at yourself in the mirror every day and say, “I love you.”

It sounded simple enough. Just look into my own eyes and say three words: I love you.
No problem, right?

Wrong.

The first time I tried it, I couldn’t do it. I would glance at my reflection, but every time, I looked away. My eyes flickered, avoiding connection. The discomfort surprised me.

It took a few more days of trying before I could even hold my own gaze for a few seconds. Then I tried saying the words out loud… but they got stuck in my throat.
It’s just me—why is this so hard?

Eventually, I adjusted the approach.
I started with: “I like you.”
That felt more doable. After a few weeks of repeating that, something began to shift. And finally, one day, I said: “I love you.” And this time, it felt true.

Looking back, I can see just how far I’ve come.
It saddens me to remember how foreign it once felt to love myself.
But now I understand why it was so important.

Scripture teaches:

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

I had missed the connection.
You can’t fully love your neighbor until you first love yourself.

So I challenge you:
Start with you.
Look yourself in the mirror. Say, “I love you.”
If it’s too hard at first, begin where I did:
Say, “I like you.”
Then take one small step forward every day.
And before long, you’ll look in the mirror…
and find a nice surprise.

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