By Denice Wallace

I love the Law of Relativity because it helps me keep things in perspective. Learning about this law has made a big difference in how I view the situations I go through. It reminds me to step back, shift my focus, and look at life through a different lens—which has helped lift my spirits more times than I can count.

As Leslie Householder teaches, the Law of Relativity states:

“Your situation is not fundamentally good or bad until you compare it to something else.”

In other words, we are the ones who assign meaning to what happens to us. What might feel like a terrible situation to one person could seem like a blessing to someone else—all based on perspective.

When we first moved to Hawaii, we were technically homeless for two months. We had sold our house sooner than expected and had no permanent place to live. We bounced around from our trailer to hotels to the basements of generous family and friends. It was a stressful time. We didn’t have a space to call our own.

You know that feeling when you've been traveling and sleeping in unfamiliar beds for a week or two, and you finally come home? That deep exhale you take because you’re home? That’s the feeling we missed and longed for.

Even after arriving in Hawaii, we still had to live in a hotel for another month before finding a house. When we finally moved in, I remember feeling so grateful to have a place—any place—to call home. But pretty quickly, we realized the house wasn’t a good fit for our family. There were roaches, long commutes, a lack of community, and growing tension and discouragement in our home. We knew we couldn’t stay there long-term.

On hard days, I would draw strength from our earlier season of homelessness. I’d compare what we were facing to what we had already endured—and remind myself, at least we have a roof over our heads now. That shift in focus always helped me push through.

Eventually, our circumstances in Makakilo felt worse and worse: the bug problem, my kids not making friends, the isolation, the heavy emotional atmosphere. It was rough. But even then, I’d tell myself, at least we’re not in a hotel anymore. And that thought alone brought me peace.

Fast forward to today—we’re in a wonderful home where my kids are happy and thriving. One night during dinner, the doorbell kept ringing over and over again—kid after kid coming to ask if my boys could play. My family started getting annoyed by the constant interruptions. The frustration was building.

And all I had to say was:
“Remember Makakilo.”
Instant mood change.

Everyone paused, laughed, and softened. That simple reminder snapped us back to gratitude. It was only a few months ago that we were praying for exactly this—a friendly neighborhood, happy kids, and a place where they belonged.

I also have a friend who used to vent to someone about her struggles, and the other person would always respond with:
“Well, I survived cancer.”
To which my friend would always reply,
“You win.”
Whatever she was going through suddenly felt more manageable in comparison.

That’s the power of the Law of Relativity.
Our situations are not inherently good or bad—they just are.
It’s what we compare them to that makes all the difference.

So next time you’re in a tough spot, try this:
Pause.
Look back.
Find a moment that was harder than now.
And let that comparison fuel your gratitude, your peace, and your strength to keep going.

Because sometimes, perspective is the most powerful tool we have.

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