By Shelly Webb

The Law of Relativity states: Your situation is not fundamentally good or bad until you compare it with something else.

This principle shows up in our lives all the time. I experienced it in a very personal way when I went through something that initially left me feeling devastated—but later brought powerful perspective.

When I was newly married, my husband and I were so excited to welcome our first child. He was all in on the idea of a home birth—his mom had delivered his youngest sibling at home and raved about it. But I wasn’t totally comfortable with that, so we agreed to have a doula and prepare for a natural hospital birth instead.

Fast forward to late October—I was three days overdue when I went into labor in the middle of the night. We arrived at the hospital, and I was absolutely freezing—shivering from head to toe. The nurses took my blood pressure right away, and it was high, which didn’t surprise me considering how cold I was. But it set off alarms for them, and soon they were running more tests.

Eventually, the doctor came in, drew a line across his stomach with his hand, and said, “C-section.” Just like that. He told us my liver enzymes were elevated and that I had developed a dangerous condition that could be fatal if I didn’t deliver soon. I was already in labor and asked if we could induce instead. His response: “No, that could take all day.” (It was a Friday, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was eager to wrap up his week.)

I didn’t feel sick—I felt totally fine, which made the whole thing surreal. But I didn’t have much of a choice, so we went forward with the surgery. I ended up throwing up during the procedure, and the whole experience was traumatic. To make matters worse, the doctor stitched my incision crookedly, and recovery was rough. I honestly thought I’d never feel normal again.

Afterward, I fell into a deep depression. I know some of that was hormonal, but I also felt crushed by how far my experience had veered from what I hoped and planned. I felt robbed. I felt broken. I was overwhelmed by disappointment.

But then I started focusing on what had gone right.

I came home with a beautiful, healthy baby girl. She was, and still is, one of the greatest joys of my life. I had loved her fiercely ever since I saw her on the ultrasound months before she was born. Yes, my delivery and recovery were nothing like I imagined—but I had her. I had her.

Sure, there are women who get the birth experience they dream of—uncomplicated, natural, and peaceful—and go home with a healthy baby. But there are also mothers who endure intense, painful deliveries only to return home with empty arms. That heartbreaking reality is one I can’t ignore. And when I compare my situation to that, I can’t help but feel immense gratitude.

There will always be someone with a seemingly “better” experience, and someone with a far more difficult one. What I’ve learned is that peace and perspective come when I choose to focus on the good in my story.

The Law of Relativity reminds me: my experience doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. And that shift in focus has helped me stay grounded in gratitude through all kinds of challenges.

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