A Throwback Journal Entry from 2010

Around 9 pm, there was a knock at the door.

My dog immediately launched into his deep, threatening “woof,” so I opened it to see who would drop by so late, unannounced. The moment I saw who it was, my heart sank.

For the last 20 minutes, I’d been in the middle of trying to soothe my sweet—but oh-so-emotional—seven-year-old daughter, who hated being alone. When she was born, I’d made a conscious decision to spoil her. I’d heard, “You can’t spoil a baby.”

Well… maybe I was the first.

(Truthfully, I was just completely smitten. Since I wasn’t rushing off to work every day, I soaked up every moment I could. It brought me so much joy to cuddle her—and yes, maybe I delivered an overdose. Totally selfish reasons. No regrets.)

To this day, one of my favorite things to do is cuddle my kids. But in hindsight, I can see that she never really learned how to soothe herself—something all humans need to learn eventually. She hadn’t had much opportunity to practice, not with five older siblings and a doting father always nearby.

Fast forward seven years.

She shared a room with two of her sisters, and still couldn’t bear to be in a room alone—even when someone was in the next room over. Bedtime was especially tough. Sometimes a sibling would fall asleep on the couch or be helping me with something when it was time for her to go to bed, and if she had to go up alone? Total meltdown.

And I mean meltdown.

So tonight, I was determined. Determined to help her discover that she did have coping skills. That she could be okay, even by herself. As long as someone was always rushing in to rescue her, she’d never find out just how strong and capable she really was.

She was in a safe, loving, controlled environment—I was only down the hall. But in her mind, her world was ending. The tantrum began... and it didn’t stop.

I second-guessed myself. I wondered if I was doing the right thing. But something deep inside nudged me to let her experience it. I knew: children will fuss until they’re too tired to fuss, and then they discover they’re okay. I was prepared to wait it out all night if I had to. I even told her sister, “I know it’s bedtime, but wait until she calms down before you go up.”

And that’s when the knock came.

I opened the door, and there were my neighbors—in bathrobes—with concerned faces.

Still screaming in the background: “SOMEONE! PLEEEASE HEEEEELP MEEEE!”

I smiled, trying to reassure them. “Everything’s fine, let me explain.” We stepped outside—where I really heard how loud it was. Her screams were echoing down the street.

My neighbor chuckled, “My dear, we’ve all been there. Just wanted to make sure she wasn’t stuck in your garage or something.”

Back inside, I climbed the stairs and said, “Bethany, let me show you something.” I took her out onto the balcony where she could see the neighbors. Hidden in the shadows, I pointed across the street and said, “See them? They came to check because it sounded like someone was dying. Are you really in so much danger that we need the police to come?”

She shook her head no.

“Did you know I asked Kayli not to come upstairs until you calmed down?”

She shook her head again.

Back in her room, she asked, “Can I try again?”

She did. Within minutes, she calmed herself, used her words, and we sent her sisters upstairs. Just like that, bedtime resumed.

Now, before anyone throws around the term “child abuse,” hear me out.

Here’s something I’ve come to believe about life: we are all born with astonishing capacities—coping skills, inner wisdom, divine gifts. But how are they uncovered?

Through hardship.

I believe God sees our untapped potential—skills and strengths we haven’t yet developed—and lovingly allows us to face challenges that push us to discover them. He places us in a safe, carefully controlled environment for growth. We feel like we’re in danger… just like my daughter did. But really, we’re not. It’s just really convincing.

We think we’re doomed. We beg for rescue. But the more we scream and resist, the longer it can take to find the relief we’re seeking.

Maybe this is your week… or month… or decade where God has decided: it’s time for you to discover just how strong you already are. As long as you’re waiting for someone else to fix it, you may never realize the incredible resilience and insight He already planted inside you.

You may wonder if He’s doing the right thing by you. Or why He’s taking so long to step in.

Maybe, like I did, He’s saying to the angels:
“I know it’s taking a while, but let’s wait until they’ve calmed down before we go help out.”

You think you need a rescue.

But maybe what you really need is to be still long enough to find the answers He already gave you. To ask the right questions. To dig deep and uncover the gifts He’s placed within.

He knows you’re capable of more than you believe.

You were never meant to live in fear of being alone. You were meant to discover what’s already inside of you—and to step forward with peace, wisdom, and divine power.

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