Tamara Shimmin

How do you write about the Law of Polarity without sounding like a string of clichés?

“Break in the clouds.”

“Look for the silver lining.”

“Count your blessings.”

“The glass is half full.”

“Look on the sunny side.”

We’ve all heard them. But when life hits hard, those familiar sayings can feel more like empty words than real comfort. I’ve always seen myself as an optimistic person—but could I find the good this time?

My husband worked in the computer industry during a time when downsizing had become common. He’d made it through two rounds of layoffs, but eventually, his turn came. It took three months for him to find another job.

Two years later, with a newborn and a toddler in tow, it happened again. Another layoff—only this time, the new job required us to move out of state. Within two weeks of starting, they sent him across the country for what was supposed to be two weeks. That turned into three months. Suddenly, we were navigating a long-distance marriage—something neither of us wanted—so he had to change jobs again.

So where was the positive in all this?

On paper, these events might seem like a string of setbacks. But I made a conscious decision to look deeper. During each period of unemployment, we were gifted with something most families are desperate for: time. Time together, all day, every day. With a toddler and a newborn, having my husband home was a huge help—and a blessing I’ll never forget. He got to bond with our children in ways he wouldn’t have otherwise, and we grew closer as a couple.

Each new job came with better pay and improved benefits. And when we moved after his second layoff, we sold our 55-year-old house at a profit—enough to upgrade to a nearly new home. (And personally, I think Arizona’s sunshine far outweighs Utah’s winters.)

When his job sent him across the country, they paid for me to fly out to New Jersey. I had never been to the East Coast, and I love to travel. We took full advantage—exploring New York City, visiting the Natural History Museum, and standing in awe at the base of the Statue of Liberty. That trip turned something hard into something beautiful. And those weeks apart? They reminded us how much we valued being together.

Each challenge came with its own version of pain and stress—but each one also carried a hidden gift. That’s the heart of the Law of Polarity. The negative will always be there. But so will the positive. Whatever you focus on, that’s what grows.

If your default is to expect the worst, you can train your mind to reach for the best. Joy and peace are always available—you just have to look in their direction.

Because when you pick up a stick, you always pick up both ends.

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