At breakfast, Marc Garrett (who knows my books) made a remark that maybe I didn't make preparations a priority because I hadn't found a dream or vision for the trek. And he was right! I had been saying I wasn't prepared because I didn't have time, or because there were too many other things going on, but the truth is that I didn't make the time for it because, frankly, I didn't really want to go.

I thought about that, and reminded myself that when the vision isn't clear, or when you're not truly connected to a dream, excuses will always get in the way. And after suffering so much through Day 1, I realized I have GOT to get a dream or a vision for this trip, or I was bound to suffer the entire time!

So I added the following to my journal:

_____________

My Vision:

To come back together with everyone and honestly say: “Day 2 was easier than yesterday!!”

Writing this next part in past tense to make it more real, I added:

As I looked at the ground beneath me, I calmly declared, “THIS is where the other 60% shows up. Right here.”

_____________

And then the day began. This was what our app said we could expect:

(We later found out the app grossly underestimated the actual elevation gain. It was probably better that we didn't know that when we embarked.)

Monica and I headed out, committed to ENJOYING the day. We would face each hill with a smile. The hills were going to be there regardless, and we'd have to work our way up each one no matter how we approached them. But hating the hills always made it harder, so we decided very intentionally to love the journey.

That's the mountain we were about to climb. 

Plan for Solo?

I told Monica that I might need to do the extra big hill alone, since I have always found my greatest strength and peace in solitude. If that mountain was going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done, then I may need to go inward to take it on, just me and God alone. She understood, and was ready to ride ahead if it came to that.

Monica is a strong rider, and was only holding back by choice. Each time we hit a hill, she powered past me and waited at the top. At first, the visual of her passing me so quickly was a drain on my psyche. It was a visual reminder over and over of how poor of a rider I am. But Day 2 was challenging enough that it eventually burned that concern right out of me. I shifted to being proud of myself after every hill, no matter how I stacked against the others.

One thought that helped me get up the big mountain that day was this:

Y-Mount in Provo is 6000 feet up. I’ve climbed it maybe 3 times. I can do the 950 feet that this mountain is.

But my numbers were wrong. The Y-Mount hike is only actually 1074 feet in elevation gain, and the total we climbed on Day 2 was over 3000 feet. It’s all such a head game!

Sometimes we just had to walk it!!

Monica refilled her water bottle with perfect Norwegian snowmelt.

Inside the tunnel were emergency boxes, which told you how far you were from the opening in either direction. The total distance of this uphill tunnel was just over a mile:

The noise of cars coming through the tunnel was like listening to a freight train! All uphill.

We finally came out of the tunnel to find that we were at the top of the mountain next to a frozen lake.

Coming down the mountain, we thought it would be nothing but easy until we got to our next meeting point. We were wrong!

But the gorgeous views made the ride extra worthwhile!!

A Day of Miracles

Layne promised that if we would face the day in an attitude of flow, stopping to enjoy the scenery, feeling gratitude for the journey, and appreciating the challenges that were making us stronger, we would experience miracles, and he was not wrong.

Miracle #1:

In the middle of one tunnel, Monica and I stopped to rest where it opened up to the crisp winter mountainside.

While we sat there, we recharged and reflected on how far we'd come. There was still a long way to go, as we were only about halfway through our Day 2 ride, but we were still committed to enjoying the experience and not allowing ourselves to think about the climb still in front of us. A Norwegian postal driver came by and gave us thumbs up which put a smile on our faces. Then as he moved into the enclosed part of the tunnel, he had to stop and back up to let an oncoming driver through first, which gave me a chance to get his picture. He rolled down the window, handed us a couple of Coca Colas, and said, "Now you will survive!!"

It's the little moments like this where you see the heavens watching out for you, sending the message that you are seen and cared for. On Day 1 when I was hating every mile, I didn't see kindness or tender mercies like I did on Day 2 when we faced our ride with softer hearts.

Miracle #2:

After coming out of the tunnel and riding several more miles, I was feeling like we'd better find ourselves a bathroom. But we were in the middle of nowhere, and with our rain clothes and cycling gear it was extremely cumbersome to take care of business somewhere along the roadside. But I spotted a bend in the road up ahead where there was a path and an outbuilding, with lots of trees and craggy rocks. Maybe we could find a spot somewhere near there.

As we pulled up to it, and looked at the road stretching ahead for many more remote miles, we weighed out our options. Something told me to just keep going, so we rounded the corner, leaving the semi-workable solution behind and began coasting down a long hill. 

At the bottom of the hill we spotted our very first remote yet public restroom of the whole trip. How grateful we were for the nudge that we didn't need to battle the less-than-desirable option at the top of the hill, since the Shangri-La of Norwegian restrooms was waiting for us at the bottom, less than 2 minutes away:

Miracle #3:

Before we got to the top of the big hill, my fingers were wet and freezing. So it was a pleasant surprise to round a corner and find Mike Poindexter and Dave Fielding sitting at a picnic table next to the mini van carrying our luggage. I was sure we were hours behind everyone else, so this was a shock to meet up with some of our fellow riders! Turns out Dave's bike had been blown over by the wind, cracking his rear derailleur. They were trying to fix it when we rolled in. Layne's dad (dubbed Papa Smurf) was there with the van and invited us to get in and warm up. How badly we needed that little boost of unexpected support! I told Dave that his mechanical was a blessing in disguise for us, giving us what we needed at a critical time on that day's journey.

Miracle #4:

After warming up for a bit, we pushed on. But it didn't take long for us to get cold and wet again. I felt prepared mentally for everything we had been facing... the hills, the rain, the long hours on the road... but what I wasn't prepared for was how uncomfortable and freezing my hands were in my sopping wet gloves. We pulled over to take them off and try to warm my fingers. That's when Monica said, "Wait a minute..." and she reached into her bag and found a pair of super warm gloves that she had been carrying but forgot about.

I blurted, "You don't need them??"

She said, "No, my fingers aren't actually feeling cold right now." That was a miracle... she was wearing open-fingered gloves and didn't seem to be bothered, which meant I could use her super-thick, dry, and warm gloves to get me through the rest of the day.

Miracle #5:

I've got a few things to lump together in this one, and they all point to Monica. She was a God-send for me that day. I had planned on facing the big mountain alone, but like Hal, I realized that it was too big for me to go it alone. If I had tried to do Day 2 solo, the voices would have overcome me. It was too long and too hard of a day to battle both the elements AND the river of energy-sapping thoughts that continually flow in if you're not super vigilant. Monica would sing out loud to me as we rode. We laughed together. We stopped and took breaks together. We shared snacks and her Bonk Busters were amaaaazing. I realized, especially after the mile-long uphill tunnel at the top of the mountain, that while I AM stronger than I think, I overestimate how strong I am when I'm alone. I don't always watch carefully the discouraging thoughts that flood in when I don't have the distraction of a present companion. 

It got me thinking about how I do life. I started questioning the core belief I have that I survive best in solitude.

Maybe I don’t need solitude to survive. Day 2 flipped something in me. It helped me identify a false belief that I recharge best alone, and that people are draining. On that mountain I know for a fact that the whispering voices would have overtaken me without Monica there.

I came away from the mountain on Day 2 committed to seeing people differently, and looking forward to spending more time with those I love, without simultaneously longing to be alone. For it is sometimes through other people that God sends us the support we need. It's not like I didn't already know that, but that day on the mountain helped me understand it on a whole new level.

The Time of Our Lives

With about 3 more miles to go, Layne pulled up in the van and asked if we needed a ride. We surprised him when we replied, "No thanks - we're having the time of our lives!" We truly had created Day 2 to be easier than Day 1.

So he drove away. After all, the app said there were basically no more hills left. So you can imagine how I lost it when we kept coming up to more hills anyway. I asked Monica, “How can we still have fun for the last couple miles?”

She tried to play “I spy” but I wasn't in the mood. We rounded a corner to face yet another hill, totally absent from our elevation map. In fact, there were probably a total of 5 good hills at the end of our ride that appeared FLAT on the app.

“Hello, hill!" Monica yelled, "We were NOT expecting you!” haha!!

She asked how I was doing. "I'm MAD! Stupid hill!" She laughed, but I was done "thinking right". I just wanted it to be over!

Eventually, we finished. We had gone the whole way, through sleet and wind, and nearly freezing temperatures.

This was our destination:

We made it! It was good to be having dinner with our friends.

I decided to treat myself to a cheesecake and laughed when this (below) is what the server brought me. Today was all about letting go of expectations, and even dessert fit the theme... whatever life brings you, there's nothing to do but choose to enjoy it.

We lodged in a tiny room which only had floorspace for two twins and our bikes, and sacked out with curtains barely blocking out the midnight sun.

I could hardly imagine getting up to do it all over again the next day, but there was yet more for me to learn.

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